


Butterfly Kisses

by peachfuzzotter



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Multi, Self Confidence Issues, Self Harm, butterfly project
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 04:03:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachfuzzotter/pseuds/peachfuzzotter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Butterfly kisses to heal the wounds of the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monarch Butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> There are mentions of Self Harm and suicide in this as well as chara death.

21 year old Kagome Higurashi strolled down the road, wandering the streets of Tokyo, rubbing her arm unconsciously. She could feel the roughness of the scars beneath the fabric of her jacket.  She pulled up her sleeve to gaze at the butterflies drawn there. With a shake of her head, she tugged her sleeve down again and looked at her surroundings for the first time since she left the shrine. She caught sight of her favorite café and with a smile set off toward it, destination finally in mind. Slipping inside she smiled at the barista behind the bar. He was an otter hanyou, the son of Kanta, an otter demon she had helped in the past.

“Hey, Kichi-kun!” she called, waving at him.

“The usual, Kagome-senpai?” The young man called back. She nodded at him and went to one of the booths by one of the expansive windows. She shrugged her jacket off, baring her arms to her view again. She turned her left arm so the tender inside was facing up and gently traced a finger across one of the butterflies.

“May I join you?” the male voice startled her out of her trance and she looked up to see Kanta. She nodded and he sat down. She had reconnected with Kanta about six month earlier when a freak rainstorm had chased her into his café and he had recognized her instantly. They had begun talking and when Kagome had realized who she was talking to, she had freaked out and fainted. It was then that he discovered that she was a cutter. She had opened several of her new cuts and was bleeding through her long sleeved blouse. He, of course, had panicked and she had ended up in the hospital for a couple days. It was because of Kanta that she was participating in the Butterfly project now, instead of cutting.

“How is everything, Kanta?” She asked, putting a hand over his. “Have you heard anything from Kaori?” The otter shook his head. His ex wife was a touchy subject. He traced a finger over one the butterflies on her arm.

“More than normal.” He murmured as his son brought over an orange chocolate espresso and a cranberry orange muffin. She smiled sadly and withdrew her arm from his grasp.

“It was this time 3 years ago that the well closed and trapped me here away from everyone.  Ayumi and Eri had basically given me up and I was alone. My mother expected me to go on like it had never happened and forget everything.  It was a very dark time for me and I almost died a couple times. In fact, as you well know, I had tried the night before we reconnected.” She looked down at her arm. They sat in silence for a few minutes. “I’m sorry; I know you don’t like to be reminded about that day.”

He nodded. “You’re right, but it’s part of who you are, and if you need to talk about it, I’m here, you know that. Well, I need to get back to work, enjoy your coffee and let me now if you want anything else before you go.” He smiled at her and got up.  Kagome quickly became entranced with the butterflies on her arm again.  

An hour or so passed while she was lost in her memories, tracing a butterfly named after each one of her companions and friends she had met along her journey. A hand settled on her shoulder and she looked up, expecting to see Kanta. A puzzled expression settled across her features as she took in the longish blonde hair and the honey-brown eyes. “Can I help you, sir?” She asked politely.

“The butterflies, are they for The Butterfly Project?” He asked walking around in front of her.  At her nod, he explained, “My daughter and my half-brother both committed suicide several years back. May I sit and add a butterfly, for them?” She nodded, extending her arm towards him.

After a few moments of silence she blurted, “Do I know you? You seem awfully familiar, like someone I knew in the past.”

“Hn,” he responded, concentrating on drawing a delicate butterfly next to the bold jagged one he had already drawn. “Kanta is a good friend of mine. I helped his dad when he was very young.”

Kagome drew back slightly, letting her miko powers wash over her eyes, to see through his glamourie. Magenta stripes decorated his cheeks and a cornflower blue moon adorned his brow, situated amidst a heedful of silvery-white hair.  “Sesshoumaru?” she whispered.

“Miko Kagome.” He inclined his head, finishing the delicate butterfly.

“Inuyasha and Rin… they both committed suicide?” She was still whispering. “How… how did they die?”

“A year or so after you left, Rin came into her maturity and several demons scented her heat. She was raped and rather than face the shame, she hung herself.  As for Inuyasha, about a hundred years ago, his demon form took over and he literally tore himself to shreds. I unfortunately could help neither of them, as dear as they were. When Rin’s happened, I was at a council meeting. I was unable to track the rapists down and I was unable to bring her back to life with Tensaiga. With Inuyasha, I was out of the country. Myouga told me what happened and I found his bones, picked clean by other demons.” His hand clenched around her wrist. “I’m sorry. Myouga told me he finally let go of any hope of seeing you again and let his demon side destroy him.”

Kagome let her head drop down on her arm, tears staring to flow down her face. Kanta scented them and walked over. “You made her cry? You promised me you wouldn’t, you mangy, flea bitten dog.”

“Enough, Kanta,” he growled. He gently shook the weeping young woman. “Come, Kagome. I have something I would like to show you.” He helped her into her jacket and ushered her out the door. “We’ll be back in a little while,” he murmured to Kanta as he passed him. The otter nodded and smiled. His little girl was healing, and he knew how the icy demon lord cared for the tiny miko.

 


	2. Swallowtail Butterfly

The couple walked up the street a bit, where Sesshoumaru’s car was parked. As he helped her into the car, he noticed her tension and questioned her about it, “Why are you upset?”

In a small voice, she responded, “My father died in a car accident when I was four years old. I’ve been terrified of them ever since.”

“Ah. Well fear not, this Sesshoumaru will allow nothing to harm what he claims as his,” he rumbled. She glared at him as they maneuvered through the traffic and out to the open road. He pulled over momentarily, pulling off his tie. “I need to blindfold you.” She leaned over grumbling about how she was the only woman on the planet to let herself be blindfolded by someone who had tried to kill her five hundred years earlier.  He laughed, shocking her into silence at the smooth baritone.

“I… I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh before,” she said in wonder. She closed her eyes, and began talking. “For about six months after the well sealed with me on this side, I kept jumping down it; trying desperately to get to the other side, to get to everyone I loved - my second brother, my soul’s sister and her husband, my one love, my son. Shippou!” She sat up. “What happened to Shippou?”

He laughed again, “Shippou lives on. He is approaching his seventh tail.”

She sat back in relief, “Anyway, one day my mother found me in the bottom of them well, leg broken, covered in blood, crying for my other  life, my real life. My mother had the well and the well house sealed the next day and within a week, I was sent to a private school in Ikebukuro. I came back about a year ago because my grandfather died, so I have taken over the duties at the shrine. My mother and Souta moved to Hiroshima, leaving me all the property and everything that went with it. I had been wandering the streets when a random shower came out of nowhere and I had fled into Kanta’s little coffee shop.  The night before…” she took a deep breath, “The night before, I had tried to kill myself, letting myself bleed out. When I figured out who Kanta was, I freaked out and he grabbed my arms, breaking open the scabs. I ended up in the hospital for several days, while they monitored my mental and physical condition. Kanta, bless his heart, took off work to spend those days with me. He’s like a father to me.”

Sesshoumaru snorted, “Nosy little monster as always. Remind me to thank him later.”

“Can I ask you a question?” She asked.

“You just did, but go ahead.” The engine noise died.

“When did you become so talkative?”

“When I realized words became more important than actions in most cases.” The door opened and closed, and then her door opened and his long, elegant hand was around hers, his arm was around her waist, guiding her into a standing position against his side. The door banged shut. She could feel his warmth and the asphalt underneath her feet and she relaxed against him, a small smile hidden by the large tie obscuring her face but she knew he could feel the happiness in her aura because she could feel it in his. He was absurdly happy about wherever he had brought her. Knowing he was happy made her happier and she snuggled into the coat against him. A thought crossed her mind and she pulled away slightly.

“Sesshoumaru,” she started, and then bit her lip, stopping herself.

He looked down at her, a smile tugging the corners of his lips. He knew she couldn’t see him but being like this, in this place with her, brought joy to his heart.  “What is it?”

“I need to know. Is there anybody special in your life right now?” A worried note entered her voice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone gets the additional references, Ill give you a cookie


	3. Painted Lady Butterfly

He realized he needed to answer this one carefully; the wounds Inuyasha had caused with the whole Kikyo debacle apparently hadn’t healed fully.  “As of right now, there is no one, although there is a prospective woman if I can convince her.” He watched her demeanor change as she absorbed the words he said; her shoulders drooped and she pulled away to turn back toward the car. “Before you assume wrongly, let me finish surprising you.” He tucked her firmly against his side and guided her forward.  She heard a door click open and warm air flowed around her. He shifted so he was against her back and pulled the blindfold off her, enjoying her gasp as she took in the bright flowers and butterflies everywhere.

“You brought me to the butterfly gardens?” She asked, awestruck, as a pale orange butterfly with green swirls fluttered past her face follow by a bright red one with touches of red. “It’s beautiful. Thank you, Sesshoumaru, but why?”

“After Inuyasha died, I was alone, by choice granted, but alone. Shippou was in America, I hadn’t met up with Kanta and I needed some beauty back in my life. So I commissioned a greenhouse where flowers and butterflies could live all year round, so I could have a place of beauty once more.” He looked at her, and she watched as his glamourie melted away, leaving silver where there once was gold.

“I don’t understand what this has to do with me though, Sesshoumaru. I’m just a miko, a damaged one at that. They only people who want me are the ones who want to buy my shrine from me. It’s all I have left.” She turned away from, reflexively rubbing her arm.

“Kagome, you obviously don’t understand what I’m trying to say. I brought you here for a twofold reason.  First, these are my butterflies, because even youkai can get depressed and like you, I have to work to keep these butterflies alive and happy. Second, for all that this is a public place now, this is still my place and I wanted you to see it, see the place I built in memory of Rin and Inuyasha. I’ve never brought anyone here and I’ve certainly never told anyone else what I’m telling you. My mother doesn’t even know that I am the caretaker of the butterfly gardens.” A sob broke from the woman still facing away from him.

A tap came at the door and Sesshoumaru turned to see a tall, slender red-headed man walk in. The man took in Sesshoumaru’s appearance and raised a questioning eyebrow to the woman who was now kneeling, face in hands and sobbing. “You brought a woman here, Sessh? Really?”

“Scent her, before you start judging me, Kit.” Sesshoumaru kept his voice quiet. He watched the young man’s nostrils flare and his eyes widen as he took in the scent of lightning and lavender that was so Kagome.

“Mama?” He whispered, looking at her hunched back, “You found mama?” Sesshoumaru nodded and the kitsune was next to her, trying to coax her into looking at him. “Mama, it’s me. Shippou.”

She looked up, blue eyes watery. “Shippou?” He nodded and pulled her into a hug. “I wish... I wish I could’ve told you all goodbye. Told Inuyasha to be happy. Seen Miroku and Sango’s kids.”

Shippo laughed at that. “You didn’t know? The Higurashi’s are Miroku and Sango’s descendents. They built the shrine right after you vanished. Sessh and I have guarded them for centuries now.” He paused.  “I have a question. What was your wish?”

“I wished that Jewel and the souls within it be freed and sent on to the afterlife.” She sniffled. “I’m a mess, I need to be going. Thank you for bringing me here Sesshoumaru, and thank you for finding me Shippo.” She rose and turned to leave. As she walked toward the door she pulled out her cell phone. “Hey Kanta? Yeah, I’m the butterfly gardens; can you come pick me up? Mhm. thanks.”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Sesshoumaru asked.

“I’m going home and I’m going to go take my medicine, because I’m obviously going crazy, because if I wasn’t, you guys would’ve shown up 3 fucking years ago before I broke and my mom couldn’t stand to be around me and sent me away.” She pushed her raven locks out from in front of her face. “I’m sorry.  It still hurts too much for me to trust you. You’ve had five hundred plus years to come to terms with everything. I had everything dumped in my lap in a matter of hours. Now I have to go figure out where the fuck my mind is and get everything set straight.” She walked outside and sat on one of the bumper blocks in the parking lot, back hunched. She put her hands on her head and waited, feeling the snow begin to fall around her. Every time Sesshoumaru or Shippou would approach her, she would move to a different block and sit with her back to them.

 


	4. Aphrodite Fritillary Butterfly

Kanta arrived a little bit later and bundled her up into his car and with a sad smile to the dog drove off. He glanced at Kagome, “Talk to me hon. what’s wrong?”

Kagome bit her lip, trying to will the tears to go away. “They said they’ve been watching over my family for centuries. Where the hell have they been for the past 20 years then?” Her voice was small. “They could’ve saved me a lot of head and heart ache.” She tucked her knees up against her chest. “My heart’s brother committed suicide because he thought he was in love with me. Too bad he never realized I didn’t love him like that. I loved someone else, but nobody realized. Nobody who is alive anyway.”

“I realized,” Kanta murmured. “Just like I realized who Sesshoumaru was in love with, is still in love with in fact. Why don’t Kichi and I crash with you tonight?”

She shrugged, “Do whatever. You know I won’t stop you.” The pair pulled up to the shrine and Kagome sighed, looking up the long staircase. Without looking back she began to trudge up the stairs to her home. She looked around the empty courtyard and sealed well house and shook her head. She went inside, kicking off her boots and jacket. Settling on the couch, she pulled out a marker and drew another butterfly on her arm. A knock on the door startled her and her marker jerked, slashing a jagged line through another butterfly.

“Come in,” she called, putting away her marker. The door opened and she heard footstep she didn’t recognized pattering behind. She turned and froze when she saw Shippou standing there, a bag with takeout cartons in his hand, six tails whirling behind him.

“Do you mind?” He asked, softly, fear evident in his green eyes. She shook her head and set the bag on the coffee table in front of her. “I came to apologize, about earlier. I didn’t realize it was you, but I knew that Sessh would be at the Gardens this time of year. If I had known for certain when your birth era was, I would’ve made sure to be here, but since you never told us the year, none of us were certain. My mate and Sessh have been the only things keeping me going through the past five hundred years.”

“Mate?”

He nodded. “I mated Shiori about 50 years after you disappeared.”

“Ah. So when am I going to get to see her?”

“When you can come to the countryside. She dislikes the city and so she actively avoids it,” he laughed.

Another tap came at the door. “Enter,” she hollered, reaching for a carton that held shrimp noodles. More footsteps pattered behind her and she turned to see Kanta and Kichi, holding sleeping bags and grocery bags. She waved them in and sent Kichi up to the attic to get another sleeping bad for Shippo.

Candy, soda pop, and liquor were revealed to be in the grocery bags and the three males eagerly descended upon the treat. Kagome sat back on the couch, eating her noodles and watched them, a contemplative look on her face. “So when is Sesshoumaru going to show up, Shippou?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I didn’t tell him where I was going so he doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Kichi? Could you start a movie or something, I need to talk to Shippou for a few minutes.” She got up and motioned Shippou to follow her. She slipped her boots and jacket back on and walked outside to the Goshinboku. “Shippou… Why do you think Sesshoumaru would take me to the gardens today like he did? I haven’t seen him in 3 years; he hasn’t seen me in five hundred years. Why me, why now?”

 


	5. Charaxes eupale Butterfly

Shippo sighed, “This is how he explained it to me several years ago – the first time he saw you, he was captivated by you, enraged, but his curiosity was sparked. That’s why he used to pick fights with Inuyasha, so he could study you. After Rin came into his care, and thawed his heart out, he started noticing some of your traits that made his beast stir – your loyalty even when you’re being hurt, your purity, your kindness and conversely, your temper. He saw your love for everyone in the group, no matter their differences and he ended up falling for you. That’s why Tensaiga reacted with Kanta’s dad, because you asked and he can’t deny you anything.” He looked up into the snow swirling around them, “As for why now, well maybe you should ask him that.” He pointed over her shoulder.

She turned to see Sesshoumaru coming towards her, snow curling around him like a lover. He extended a hand towards her and when she took it, he pulled her to him. “You asked, ‘Why now?’ Well that’s because Kanta, the little shit didn’t tell me he had found you until a week or so ago and before you ask, I didn’t show Shippou the gardens, he caught me working in them one day. So now that I’ve found you, I don’t plan to let you go again but that is up to you, koneko.”

She pulled away slightly and looked at him, “Let me get to know you, the you, you became over the course of the past five hundred years.  Then maybe, but first, since I have the others over anyway, would you like to crash here for the night. Shippou brought takeout and Kanta and Kichi brought soda and sweets and alcohol.” She started pulling him towards the house, but paused. “Plus I’ve changed, you need to be certain you still want me, not that silly 18 year old I was when I vanished.” She pulled on his hand again.

She entered her home in the middle of a war. Jelly beans and popcorn were flying in every direction as Kanta and Kichi tried beating Shippou. She ducked; food fights were common when Kanta and Kichi were at her house. Standing she flared her aura just enough that the three trickster’s fighting got frozen.  Shippou looked at her, awe on his face, and then looked around at the candy and popcorn literally just suspended in midair. “Since when could you do that?”

“Since my mother sent me off to boarding school. My roommate, a really strange guy, loved throwing stuff at me. It was either learn to duck, which I did, or learn to freeze it, which I did. Izaya was never fully right in the head though.” She grinned impishly and all of the debris in the air concentrated around Shippou, “I can also make them stick to people with youkai blood until I decide otherwise.” She sat down on the couch and pick up her carton of noodles and a bottle of pineapple Smirnoff. Sesshoumaru settled next to her and grabbed a carton of take out. A very disgruntled Shippou put in a DVD that Kanta had brought with him.

An hour later, halfway into Hellraiser, Kagome was in Sesshoumaru’s lap, face buried against his chest. His arms were around her, but his eyes were glued on the screen. By that time, Kagome had gotten tired of Shippou’s grumbling and let him free of his edible prison.

Kagome was asleep by the end of the movie, curled up in his lap. Shifting her, he handed her to Kanta and transformed into a smaller version of his true form. Kanta arranged her so she was laying on the big dog and both Shippou and Kanta shifted into their true forms and settled with her and Kichi against him.


	6. Amethyst Hairstreak

Kagome woke slowly, finding herself in a tangle of fur and limbs. Glancing around her she found her bed to be a transformed Sesshoumaru and her covers, a transformed Shippou and Kanta with Kichi snuggled up behind her. Shippou’s tails were splayed out everywhere and in everything. Kagome giggled silently; he was going to smell like Chinese food for days. With a content smile, she relaxed against the big dog again and gently, absently, began to run her fingers through his silky soft fur. A content rumble vibrated through her fingers, and she looked up to see the red and blue eyes that once frightened her to death gazing at her with look that could only be considered pure joy. She smiled at him, and then deliberately started scratching his chest, surprising him and causing him to kick Kichi in the head out of reflex.

Kichi, woken out of a dead sleep by Sesshoumaru’s massive paw connecting with his head, flailed and managed to kick both his dad and Shippou, waking them both and eliciting yelps from both youkai. Kagome giggled and clamored over Sesshoumaru to remove herself from striking range from any of the other males. She silently excused herself and padded upstairs, intent on a shower, determined to have a good day, despite the memories that haunted her steps.

Kanta shifted to his humanoid form as soon as Kagome’s steps faded upstairs and the shower start. “I have an idea. Kagome usually spends most of the winter cooped up here, by herself. I found out by accident this past spring when I hadn’t seen her in a while and asked her about her holidays.” Shippou and Kichi stopped fighting to listen to what the otter youkai had to say. Even Sesshoumaru looked interested. “I think we should plan a midwinter festival here on the shrine. Youkai, hanyou and miko only, no mundanes.”

“Do you wish to surprise her?” Sesshoumaru elegant voice held a note of curiosity. Kanta nodded. “I will handle that part of it then. I have several places I wish her to visit.”

“Shippou, Kichi and I will handle the rest. Do you think you can convince her to leave with you today?” Kanta asked. Sesshoumaru gave a slight nod. “Kichi, go tell Kagome to dress warm and pack a bag.”

Kichi nodded and went upstairs. Tapping on Kagome’s door, he heard a soft, “Enter.” Opening her door, he saw her sitting on her bed, wearing a lilac tank top and jeans, arm extended with smudges of black staining the soft ivory skin, marred by a single thin line of red. “Kichi… I killed them. I killed all of them, even the ones that Sesshoumaru gave me yesterday. I wasn’t strong enough to resist.” The otter hanyou went to her side. “Kichi, I can’t face them, I can’t face him.” A tear slid down her face.

“Kagome, why? You were so happy a little bit ago.” Kichi looked at his best friend’s face and sat down by her feet.

“When I’m with you guys, I guess, I can forget, push the sorrow and the pain to the back, but once I leave your presence it all comes flooding back. Fast and powerful, stronger than anything Naraku threw at us. I, I lost myself. I don’t know, I guess I found a razor blade or something and just, sliced myself. I tried scrubbing my butterflies off but even all I got for that is black smears.”

 


	7. Siva Butterfly

Kichi rose from his seated position and strode to the bathroom, intent on getting some cotton balls and rubbing alcohol. Returning, he found her in the same position as he left her, slumped with her arm extended. As gently as he could, he soaked a cotton ball in alcohol and began rubbing her arm down, watching as the permanent ink faded, leaving only pale white scars, intersected by a thin, angry line of red. Reaching over her, he grabbed a dark blue marker and lightly drew a bright, new, delicate butterfly on the inside of her wrist. “You are like a sister to me, I can’t let anything happen to you, now can I? What kind of big brother would I be if I let harm come to you, even from yourself. Now, chin up, we need to pack you a bag for about a week. Dad, Shippou and I will run the shrine while you and Sesshoumaru go for a trip. Get you away from the memories haunting this place.” He grinned at her. “Come on, I know you have some sexy things tucked away. I was there when you got them, remember?” He prodded her side, managing to coax out a small smile from the raven haired woman.

She moved lethargically around her room, pulling clothes out of her dresser and closet.  He rolled his eyes and followed her, pairing clothes into outfits and grabbing shoes and accessories for each outfit as well. When she made to move past the elegant sage green gown he had managed to barely bribe her into getting, he stopped her and grabbed it, along with the matching shoes and packed into her bag as well.

“Why would I need that?” She asked.

“Let’s call it a hunch. Also where is your formal kimono set that I had made for you a couple months ago?”

“It’s in the chest at the foot of my bed.” Kichi moved to get it. He pulled out the luxurious indigo kimono and its shimmery silver obi, along with its double under kimonos.  Laying it on the bed, he examined the embroidery, looking for flaws or any indications that pests had touched the delicate silk and grinned with satisfaction.  He leaned back, admiring the little silver animals dancing together under the crescent moon– a multi-tailed fox, a pair of otters and a large majestic dog romped among the folds of the cloth, then with a delicate, seasoned hand, folded it up and tucked it into the top of her bag.

“Well, I think that is everything you need, unless you wish to pack a swimsuit,” he trailed off thoughtfully. “Nah, no reason to tease. Well, Kags, it is time for me to hand you over to your keeper for the week.” He grinned as her eyes widened in panic. “No. Sister dear, it is your time to let yourself relax and heal.” He grabbed her bag and used it to herd her out the door and down the stairs. “Sesshoumaru, she’s all yours. We will see you at midwinter."

“Do I get any say in this at all?” Kagome crossed her arms across her chest. “Besides, I don’t know about you, but I’m not dressed to go outside, let alone anywhere else.” She shifted slightly and her bare arms became the center of attention, especially once the slender line of red that marred her skin was noticed.  

“What did you do?” Shippou whispered, looking at the single butterfly on her wrist and the line of red.

“I wasn’t strong enough.” The words, barely able to be heard, even by demon standards, slipped from her lips. “I killed them all, because I wasn’t strong enough to stop myself.” She traced a finger across the butterfly Kichi had given her. “Even the ones Sesshoumaru gave me, the ones he trusted me to keep alive, and I killed them.” She turned away from the group of men and made to go upstairs. Sesshoumaru reached for her, fingers missed the back of her tank top by inches. Kichi followed her upstairs, knowing she needed someone with her.  Sesshoumaru growled a little but didn’t argue.

 


End file.
